


A Thousand Years

by kaihanbitches



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 01:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14885289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaihanbitches/pseuds/kaihanbitches
Summary: It’s a regular Saturday night and they’re staying up late under Chanyeol’s bed covers with flashlights and wrinkled comic books. Chanyeol thinks they should just sleep because they’ll get caught but apparently, Baekhyun is already a master at this. Their legs tangle under the eyes of no one but their own and Chanyeol is so sure he’s never felt this way about anyone. (repost from a 2013 lj entry)





	A Thousand Years

Heart _felt_

Chanyeol had never met anyone that liked him for himself. What he always hears is that his smiles are too wide, his movements are too clumsy, his eyes are too weird, or his laughs are too obnoxious. He tries to stop being himself, and starts trying to be what people want him to be. People like him this way, conformed to society. He’s lost himself in a sea of popularity.

He trades everything he has for the one thing that he thought he wanted.

People want what they don’t have.

Chanyeol doesn’t realize how much he dislikes his popularity until he does. He has friends, but what are friends that you can’t trust? What are friends that don’t accept you for yourself? What are friends?

He sees the number of friends on facebook and he compares it to the number of people he considers inviting over to hang out with.

When Baekhyun transfers in their school in sophomore year, Chanyeol finds himself accepting the newbie to his group of friends. Baekhyun teaches him how to be himself and how to be okay with it. Baekhyun tells him he’s perfect just the way he is. It touches his heart like he doesn’t expect it to because it’s everything he could ever want.

So he says,

“Do you want to... come over sometimes?”

_And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me  
I have loved you for a thousand years  
I love you for a thousand more _

Heart _beat_

It’s a regular Saturday night and they’re staying up late under Chanyeol’s bed covers with flashlights and wrinkled comic books. Chanyeol thinks they should just sleep because they’ll get caught but apparently, Baekhyun is already a master at this. Their legs tangle under the eyes of no one but their own and Chanyeol is so sure he’s never felt this way about anyone.

“My heart beats a little differently when I’m with you,” Chanyeol says. Baekhyun hums curiously, coyly pressing an ear over Chanyeol’s heart. Chanyeol thinks his heart is beating just a little stronger and just a little faster than he’s used to. (This is something that only occurs when he’s around Baekhyun.)

“Mine does too,” Baekhyun whispers. Chanyeol almost thinks he hears it wrong, but he presses a hand against Baekhyun’s heart and it’s beating just as fast. It’s almost too good to be true.

“Baekhyun, my heart feels like it’s about to jump out of my chest. Am I having a heart attack?” He’s just a little worried because it isn’t normal to be this out of breath without heavy exercise. If anything, Baekhyun seems pleased with his heart conditions. He laces their hands together, cold against warm, balancing each other out.

“No, you just like me a lot.”

“What happens now?” Baekhyun smiles, turns off their flashlights, and kisses him. He imagined it in his dreams, but it’s so much better in person and he’s momentarily stunned. In that moment, the only thing that doesn’t stop is his heart. It’s disappointing because his eyes haven’t adjusted to the change in lighting and he really wanted to see how Baekhyun looks like when they kiss.

“It’s not romantic unless we both close our eyes, dumbass.” Chanyeol readily agrees to close his eyes when Baekhyun promises to kiss him again.

He imagined it, but it’s so much better in person and he’s momentarily stunned.

_Yes,_  Chanyeol thinks, he does like Baekhyun a lot and it’s a little scary but he likes it.

_Heart beats fast  
Colors and promises _

Heart _race_

Hearing Baekhyun sing for the first time is like falling in love a second time. He’s mesmerized. Singing is something Baekhyun can be serious about. Singing would be Baekhyun’s everything if Chanyeol didn’t exist. Baekhyun is beautiful when he smiles. Baekhyun is beautiful when he laughs. Baekhyun is beautiful when he sleeps. Baekhyun is beautiful every moment of the day, but he is  _overwhelmingly_  beautiful when he sings. Chanyeol feels pride welling in his boyfriend by the thunderous applause at the end of the performance.

His heart drowns out all the sounds in the auditorium. He wills himself to calm down but he already knows it’s impossible. So he picks up a crumpled bouquet of roses, hastily picked up before the event, and he walks towards backstage with a deceptive calm.

Chanyeol thumbs the box in his pocket nervously. He hasn’t felt this feeling of uncertainty in years. He knows the feeling of relief won’t come to him until it’s all over. He can’t imagine a life without Baekhyun, and he thinks maybe it’s time to let Baekhyun officially know that.

Baekhyun is in the middle of basking in the attention of all his fans and fellow singers when Chanyeol approaches him. He takes the roses happily into his already overflowing arms. Right now, Baekhyun is very happy, so Chanyeol thinks he will hold off asking Baekhyun until a time when he can truly say with confidence,  _I am the cause for the happiest day of Byun Baekhyun’s life._

_Time stands still  
Beauty in all she is  
I will be brave _

Heart _attack_

The beeping of the hospital machines is the only indication that Baekhyun is still alive-- but barely. Chanyeol can’t bear looking at Baekhyun’s peaceful face knowing that Baekhyun might not smile for him ever again. His suit is wrinkled, snot covers his sleeves but he could care less. The ring in his pocket is heavy; he’ll have to use it to pay for the hospital bills.The ring will mean nothing if the person it’s meant for dies.

The doctor comes in, assuring Baekhyun will be fine because he’s under the care of good doctors. Chanyeol believes him because he has to, because it’s the only option he’s got.

“Thanks Kris, he means everything to me.”

They brofist, nostalgia rises from the days in college when they were on the same basketball team. There is no one other than Kris who Chanyeol trusts more in this world (except for Baekhyun, who is always the exception). He has a lifetime to propose to Baekhyun, after all, they already spend all of time together; he can wait a little longer to make it official.

_I will not let anything take away  
What's standing in front of me _

Heart _ache_

He feels like his heart is shrinking, curling itself in a cocoon of vein, trying to strange itself to death but still trying break free. He smiles wide, trying to overcompensate for the hurt in his heart. His eyes crinkle a little too much because he wants to hide the windows to his soul that says he want to die because it can’t be more painful than the pain that he’s feeling now.

“He’s not just any person, he is  _the_  person.”

“I could make you happy too, you know. I’ve done it before.” His tone is light, airy to distract the weight of his words. He means it. He really means it because there is nothing in the world that matters more to Chanyeol than Baekhyun’s happiness.

“Not like he could,” Baekhyun retorts. A pause.

“Besides, we dated  _ages_  ago.”

Baekhyun doesn’t know that his words are like a punches, bruising him slowly and unevenly. Unlike scars that scab over, fresh and old bruises hurt-- just not all the same. Bruises might not leave lasting marks but he’s bleeding all the same. It’s not even something he can put a bandage on to cover up. He feels his throat closing up because he has to swallow his pride, confessions, and feelings. Panic swells in him in heedy dosages when he senses his tears about to spill out. He thinks,  _not now_ , because he’s trying so hard to keep everything in and how is he supposed to do that if everything is spilling out?

“Baekhyun, did you put any wasabi in my food? You know wasabi does things to me.” He makes sure his voice doesn’t waver; he makes sure he doesn’t give himself away. Tears begin to drip down his cheeks, a strange contrast to the pasted smile on his face.

“It’s never made you cry before,” Baekhyun says. They switch their plates just in case but Chanyeol’s not hungry anymore; he’s full of misery. His heart is purple, green, black, and blue-- but he won’t bleed openly because he has to stay strong.

His tears are the only thing that aren’t colored, they’ll dry up and they won’t leave any marks when he’s done, so he allows them to fall just this once. It’s already the end for both of them and he won’t even try because he knows there’s no hope.

When Kris walks in the room, all he can see is Baekhyun.

He thinks,  _that smile used to be for me._

_How to be brave  
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall_

Heart _break_

“Do you accept him to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

 

 

People want what they don’t have.

 

 

_People want what they can’t have._

 

 

 

 

 

But that’s okay because he’s known that for a very long time.

 

 

 

 

 

_I have died everyday waiting for you_  
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I love you for a thousand more

 

 


End file.
